Salem: 4.6 “Welcome to the Family”

Last time with the Diffys, Salem went to jail for the first time, he and Emily visited the graveyard, and Maura was successfully impregnated. This time…

At the Beaker-Subject house, Ashley and Bridgette’s baby, Thad, has been born.

Salem: “Maura? I’m actually really tired. Do you mind if we head home?”

Maura: “That’s fine with me.”

Salem: “Great, I’ll just go say bye to Ash.”

Yikes.

Maura: “You know what, Bridgette? I don’t think I really like you. I tolerate you for my cousin, but that’s it.”

Bridgette: “How sweet of you.”

Maura: “And you know what, Bridgette? I’m pretty hopped up on pregnancy hormones right now. I have no filter!”

Bridgette: “Wow, I’m not going to talk to an insane person.”

Maura: “And you know what, Bridgette?! I’m pretty sure I saw a letter in the mail for Salem the other day! Scented with some fancy perfume! And I could swear it came from this address!”

Bridgette: “What’s that? I think Salem is ready for you to leave now.”

Maura: “This isn’t over!”

Ashley: “Hello again.”

And it is time for the second ever Diffy Snowflake Day party. On the last Snowflake Day, Salem was a child. I am ok with this.

Ami: “Grilled cheese, Maura? Is that all you can make?”

Maura: “I just really have a craving for it.”

Um, guys. Let’s just start, guys.

Maura: “Can you tell that I feel like a beached whale? And all my favorite people are here, yay.”

Salem: “Ooh…A chess table.”

Maura: “Hear that, people?” Maura: “Salem got a chess table. Now we don’t need another one; one chess table per household is enough!”

Maura: “Opening presents is fun!”

Maura: “A freaking chess table.”

Maura: “Isn’t this fun, Ami? We’re both pregnant at the same time!”

Ami: “Oh, whoa you’re pregnant?!”

Ami: “I just thought you were letting yourself go since you and Salem are married now.”

Maura: “Er, uh, no. There’s a future Diffy spawn about to pop out of me.”

Maura: “You’re almost as far along as I am!”

Ami: “Alright, heh, stop touching my belly now.”

Maura: “Oh! It kicked!”

Ami: “Yeah, sure, magical. I’ve got to get going now, Maura.”

Emily: “Nononononono…”

Maura: “Um, you’ve done this before, right? I was pretty sure you’ve done this before!”

Emily: “You need to get to the hospital! Salem!!!”

Salem: “Can you believe what terrible quality those stools are?”

Maura: “Aaah-CHOO!”

Maura: “Sneezing while in labor is the worst sensation I’ve ever felt.”

Mr. Gnome wished them luck.

And the newest Diffys are a pair of natural twins! The first I’ve ever had! At least I’m pretty sure they were natural; Maura only listens to country music and the Diffys don’t even have a TV.

The twins are named after characters from Drop Dead Diva. The older is Kim, named after Kim Kaswell, and she is a couch potato and loves the heat. Her favorite color is black.

The younger twin is Jane, named after Jane Bingum, and she is a grumpy eccentric. Her favorite color is blue.

Welcome to the family!  With these two girls, the number of children requirement is filled.

Having babies in the house makes you tired.

And crazy? Where are you going?

Emily: “I’m going to look at those lights. They look strange, but pretty.”

I don’t think you should do this.

Emily: “Can’t stop me!”

Emily, what is it?

Emily: “Some sort of ship?”

Run!

Emily: “I can’t get away!”

Emily: “I don’t like you.”

Emily: “I have the worst icky feeling right now.”

Aw, Emily.  😦

Jail time again?

Police man: “Should there be? Do you know something about this?”

…no.

Salem: “I’m just going in for questioning; don’t worry.”

The next day:

Ah, the ecstatic parents as they realize that they are about to have two toddlers to take care of.

Salem: “Now where’s the next one?”

Kim is first.

Kim looks mostly like Salem, but I think she has Maura’s darker blue eye color. She also inherited Emily’s yellow skin tone, which I didn’t know was possible.

The purple hair continues into the fifth generation! Like Kim, Jane’s features look mostly like Salem. She too inherited Emily’s yellow skin tone, but in a darker shade. She also inherited C.B.’s light brown eye color.

Goodnight!

Now don’t look like that; I know you’re not tired, but your parents are!

Next time: The kids keep growing up!