Salem: 4.5 “Conversation with a Specter”

Last time with the Diffys, we bought a new house. Everyone spent some time just settling in as Salem and Maura got used to married life. This time…


Police officer: “This little ‘charity’ has gotten quite a few noise complaints from everyone who hangs about the junk yard. It’s time to perform a little inspection.”


Salem: “Um…totally should have paid more attention to those ‘what to do when the police knock on our door’ training days.”

Police officer: “That’s right! You run into my car! I didn’t even see anything illegal, but I’m taking you downtown! Heh, I’ve always wanted to say that.”


Maura: “Salem was supposed to be home hours ago! Your son is so irresponsible sometimes!”

Emily: “Maura, please.”


Emily: “I know you’re upset, but maybe you should just take a minute to calm yourself.”


Maura: “…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. I’m just worried about him.”


Salem: “…I didn’t expect Maura to still be up.”


Maura: “Salem! I’ve been worried all day about you! What happened?”

Salem: “Well, you see…My boss suddenly decided to do an unexpected charity drive. I was on the phone all day, trying to get people to donate.”

Maura: “…oh.”


Maura: “Well call home next time. I know your mom was worried too.”

Salem: “No problem, I’ll remember next time.”


Salem: “Hey Mom! Ready for our late night ghost hunt?”

Emily: “Let’s go, sweetie.”


Salem: “Olive Specter’s grave.”

Emily: “Hm. I didn’t really know her, but Ophelia said some strange things…”


Emily: “Ok, I am getting a little creeped out here. Do you feel like someone’s watching us?”

Salem: “Well, Mom, we are in a creepy graveyard at midnight. I don’t know what you expected to find.”

Emily: “I’m sorry…I guess it’s just curiosity. And Ophelia sent me here. She said the dead talk.”

Salem: “Strange. I’ll believe it when I see it.”

After a few minutes:


Salem: “Is that–? No, it’s a trick. When I open my eyes she’ll be gone.”


Olive: “Hello? I’m still here.”

Salem: “Umm…am I crazy?”

Olive: “If you think you’re hallucinating, is your hallucination the most reliable source to ask?”

Salem: “Look, I’m just here to help my mother. She thinks you’re the answer.”

\Olive: “She’s afraid of death, yeah?”

Salem: “Actually, this all came about after my father nearly died.”

Olive: “She wants to save her loved ones, then.”


Olive: “I searched all my life for an answer to Death. My reasons are my own. My methods were through the supernatural and all different kinds of magic, and I never found what I was looking for. I suggest a different method for you.”


Emily: “Hey Salem, I found a snake!”

Salem: “She can’t see you.”

Olive: “She wouldn’t understand. You know what to do.”




Maura: “Let the game commence.”

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this, but Maura and Ashley are cousins. His parents are Nervous and Erin, and Erin is Loki’s sister.

Salem: “So what happened to Bridget?”


Ashley: “She decided to stay at home. She just found out that she’s pregnant, and she’s been staying in most days since.”


Salem: “Oh.”


Salem: “So can you believe Bridget and Ash are having a baby? It kind of gave me an idea…”

Maura: “Is that where you’re going right now? Well, I’d say there’s enough space in this house. We do have an extra bedroom.”


Salem: “So…?”


Maura: “Ok, let’s do it.”


On the job, Cinnamon Bun discovers that Ashley and Bridget moved into the old house.



Maura: “Dad really hasn’t changed, has he?”

Ami: “Nope, and it’s kind of a shame.”


Salem: “Wow, Tank Grunt is crying into his pie face?!”

Loki: “Pull yourself together, kid!”


Maura: “Woo! I just got nauseous and threw up into the toilet! Salem will be so excited!”


Maura: “Salem–”

Salem: “I know, I’m sorry I was late again–”

Maura: “No, that’s not what this is about. So I took a test, and…well, we’re going to have a baby.”


Salem: “Oh, seriously?! That’s fantastic!”


In the early morning, Gilbert takes a journey to his old home.


Gilbert: “Mama! Papa! I have really missed you all, you don’t even know.” *wishes fulfilled*


Maura: “Woo!”

Emily: “You’ve really been getting into all this country line dancing lately.”

Maura: “Hey, I have nothing better to do all day, since the salon won’t let me work.”


Maura: “You should join in! It really is fun!”

Emily: “I think I’m…too old for that.”

Next time: Salem and Maura’s baby will be born!


4 thoughts on “Salem: 4.5 “Conversation with a Specter”

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